by Arman
It’s good to be back home! I have a little bit of jet-lag and there is fresh snow outside (definitely not L.A. weather). I don’t have the luxury of resting much – too busy with my church, publishing company and American football team but I am very grateful for a short season I got to spend in Cali, where I could rest so well.
I’d like to share with you just one most amazing thing that happened upon my arrival. It has to do with my football team. As you know I played for the Almaty Horde before coming to L.A. Our coach is a big and tough Kazakh guy, who absolutely loves American football. I’d say it’s his main idol. He’s ready to give it all on the field, he’d be happy to practice or watch football any time of day or night and he dreams about visiting the U.S. At the same time, he has big anger issues, gets easily provoked, and has a long track record of starting fights and beating players. He even tried to fight me back when I just joined the team in 2020 during one of our practices. I think it’s been his way of reaffirming his leadership. If it were not for the sake of making Christ’s name known, I’d never had chosen to play under (or work or follow) such a leader.
It took some time, but by God’s grace by the end of 2020 I gained respect and trust from my coach and the whole team. But bursts of anger and aggression continued although more rarely than before. As I was finishing my coaching internship in the US, I started questioning whether I’d be able to co-lead the team with our current coach. Reading our team chat, it looked like the team was falling apart. We had only 12 players for our finals in mid-October (our guys still played like lions and lost 24-6 against the team that had 25 guys). Then for the last game in September, we only had 8 players which meant they couldn’t even play the full game. On the average, 5-7 guys showed up for practices, and some practices had to be canceled altogether because just a couple of people showed up. I was watching all this happen from the other side of the world but every time I talked to the coach on the phone, he kept saying that everything was great. He blamed the players for being irresponsible and for the lack of discipline but was blind to the true reasons of the situation.
After much prayer and seeking counsel from various people (including Pastor Rocky), I decided I was going to confront our coach after I returned to Kazakhstan and if he was not to listen to my counsel, then I would start a new team. I talked to my little brother Aslan who plays as our lineman, and he confirmed my guess that the team spirit was very low, and he was considering quitting too.
This week our coach and I met to talk. I was confident that his response would be bad, and that there was absolutely nothing in my own strength to convince him for a need to change and allow me to start the reformation as a new coach. At first, he was very defensive. Somehow, he convinced himself that things were fine and that all we needed to do was to recruit a few new players. For all of the issues I brought up he had an excuse. The conversation was getting more heated, and I ran out of words and was ready to give up and tell him that I was leaving. But after a moment of silence he asked, “What do you think is the problem?” And that led to an hour-long conversation of me trying to speak the truth in love. It seems that these couple of points made him think hard:
That the coach’s job is somewhat similar to a pastor’s job. Would he describe himself as a good shepherd?
That God doesn’t care about his football accomplishments, but He hates the sin of unrighteous anger and violence against people He entrusts him to coach.
That anger hurts people around him – not only on the team, but also in his family and at work.
Time after time I reaffirmed him in that the only reason I told him these tough things was my love for him and for our team. And by God’s grace when I finally asked him what he thought about me taking over the responsibilities of the head coach [without actually having the title] he answered, “What would you like me to do – just play or help you as an assistant coach?” – I couldn’t believe my ears! I told him that I needed him as a coach and not just a player with all his experience and knowledge of all the technical aspects of the game.
My non-believing brother was shocked upon hearing what happened. Right before my meeting he asked me whether I was praying about it. Now I could tell him how God answered the prayer! At our elders’ meeting at church yesterday I told the brothers that I firmly believe now that God has His children on our team and that’s the only reason He wanted me to stay there and continue my ministry.
Please pray for the following:
God’s wisdom in how I lead the team. I think I kind of know what I need to do but without God’s wisdom I am doomed to fail. It looks like we’ll have 16 guys at our Saturday practice, and it will be my first time being there as a coach and not a player.
God’s continued blessing on my relationship with our coach and the whole team. It will be an interesting dynamic because our core group of players have played the game much longer than me. Pray especially that I’d have no fear of man as a new coach (and not pretend I know everything just because I spent a few months with an American team) but would display humility and show God’s love and care to everyone.
God’s glory and His name to be known by all my teammates!