by Sabrina Yee
In February, I had begun making many plans to wrap things up and say goodbye to friends God provided over the last year and a half. Our church youth group was planning a farewell party for me where we could make some last memories together playing “Just Dance.” My small group was going to drive out to an island and enjoy burgers and the sunset along the coastal drive. Then COVID-19 confronted all of our plans and in early March I became sick and was hospitalized.
Instead of dancing with my friends and enjoying burgers, I watched crowd less sumo matches on TV from my hospital bed hooked up to an IV. Instead of fun outings with friends, we were forced to settle for pixelated video chats. It was disappointing to say the least and difficult to be transitioning and leaving, not knowing when or if I would ever see my friends again.
Fast forward to arriving in Ibaraki. I don’t have any friends in this new city. My new church is only meeting online and since I’ve just traveled from another prefecture I have to quarantine for two weeks. I feel very alone, and at some point realize I have not physically touched another human in three weeks. In these moments it’s disorienting, painful, and so confusing. Everyone is experiencing transition in this pandemic season. Some more extreme than my own, others have “simpler” adjustments to make. Whatever the case, we are all going through some type of loss. Finding space and being given permission to recognize and express my loss has saved me in this season.
Throughout my term I’ve expressed how I think everyone needs an MSG (Missionary Support Group): people who know, understand, listen, and pray with me. Everyone needs help to process and recognize all that’s happening. Everyone needs to be shown grace. As we all experience loss, we cannot compare our losses with others and feel guilty for expressing them because it’s not as big a deal. Loss is loss and we are needy and weak. Praise be to God that his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). Praise be to God that we can express our unfiltered feelings to him (Psalm 139:23-24). Praise be to God that we need one another (1 Cor. 12).